As I reflect over the past 11 years of my life, collapsing that number to 2, I realize that it is such an integral period of time for us all.  The Angel number 2, reminds us of a number of things:

“Relationships, Partnerships”

“Balance and Divinity”

“Pursue Your Life Purpose and Soul Mission”

“Soul Searching Chat with Your Inner Most Self”

“Achieve Total Harmony”

In reflecting on these truths, the two that resonated the most were “Soul Searching Chat with Your Inner Most Self” and “Achieve Total Harmony.”  In a soul searching chat with my inner most self, I see clearly the work I still need to do within myself as it pertains my own self-love, and how I show my love for others.  I’ll touch on this in a bit.

But as it pertains to achieving total harmony, I recognize that my experiences with love for my entire life have not been harmonious at all.  As of late, I see that these experiences have either been grounded in silence or are acquainted with the sound of clanging cymbals. 

The silence stems from an inner child wound that I have carried well into my adulthood.  I have suffered from the plight of the black family of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” era.  I held so much in, I did not express much emotion, because being emotional was not a thing.  That, coupled with my abandonment wound with the loss of my father, made REAL love feel impossible and unattainable for me.  I often felt unsafe and unprotected, and I silenced my fears and emotions.

The clanging cymbals stems from my own lack of self-love, and the continued acceptance of things and people who were not good for me.  In one way or another, I have always allowed myself to be treated in ways I did not deserve to be treated.  This would lead to anger, frustration, and having to put walls up to guard my heart. These walls would close in on me while the clanging cymbals disrupted my inner peace.

I read three quotes the other day that really put things in perspective for me:

  1. “I think some of us were born to give more love than we will ever see in return.”

This is a sad reality for the empath.  However, I am stepping forward to challenge those who lack empathy.  I believe there will come a time where this statement will be reversed.  I believe, WE WERE CREATED TO LOVE, AND WHEN PEOPLE RECOGNIZE & EMBODY THE TRUE NATURE OF THEIR BEING, ALL OF THE LOVE WE GIVE WILL BE RETURNED.   

  • “When someone makes you feel safe; Safe to express. Safe to feel. Safe to speak. Safe to think. Just safe. I love that. I love an emotionally validating human. I love an active listener. I love reciprocity.”

This is the reason we have yet to embody our true nature as humans, simply because we do not feel safe and naturally, we have every reason not to.  Our experiences and traumas pretty much dictate the complexity of the love we give and receive. Love is rather simple, however we make it difficult! In the great words of Lauryn Hill, “It could all be so simple, but we’d rather make it hard, loving you is like a battle, and we both end up in scars, tell me who I have to be, to get some reciprocity.” I understand now that reciprocity is what we are all yearning for.

  • “It takes courage to be vulnerable in a world that judges people for showing emotions.  Embrace your sensitivity.”

Full transparency, this is the story of my life.  I am a sensitive soul, who loves hard but often to a fault.  I give more than I often get in return.  I have been most burned and scarred by those who simply refuse to reciprocate the type of love I give. Humbly put, they do not treat me the way I would treat them and this has been in almost every form of relationship I have had.  I have been judged and labeled too sensitive, too emotional, controlling, selfish, etc.  When in reality, all I ever wanted was someone to love me the same way I love them.

For my entire life, this has eaten me up inside.  I am often left frustrated, asking myself “Why do I care so much?” “Why do I rely on other people’s evaluation of me to validate me?” Truthfully, I do not know why and I still grapple daily to find the answers.  Nevertheless, there is one thing I know for sure, and that is that there is nothing wrong with me.  Through much self-work and years of therapy, I now understand that my feelings are valid and worthy of expression.  I have learned that reciprocity is a deep-rooted love language of mine.  I just want people to care just as much as I do.  The minute I do not feel this reciprocity, is the minute I do not feel safe, and is also the very minute that I shut down. 

With this realization during a chat with my inner most self, Spirit has revealed that it is time for me to do a few things:

  1. It is time to speak up! The inner child in me silenced herself for fear of repercussion.  Today, my inner child deserves to be seen and heard regardless of how people will respond to HER speaking HER truth at this juncture in HER life. No More Silence, No More Shutting Down!
  2. It’s time to unconditionally love yourself enough to walk away from “love” that doesn’t feel safe and reciprocal; that expression of love is not love at all.  No More Clanging Cymbals!
  3. It’s time to Find Harmony Within – anything that shows up is a reflection of the world going on inside of me.  This means, whatever I am experiencing means that there is something within me that still needs to be healed.  My self-worth still needs healing!

In other words, the love I have given myself is directly related to the love that has shown up from others.  Wow, powerful stuff!  So basically, in some way, I am responsible for all that I am experiencing.  Spirit is saying, “Be conscious of THE LOVE U GIVE!” But here’s the shift…be conscious of the love I give to myself!  Whatever I am not getting, I have not given to myself!

WHEW! Okay God, I hear you loud and clear, you have my full attention!

Spirit is also saying, “Choose YOU over anyone or anything! Do not be afraid to read the signs put before you.  If THE LOVE U GIVE cannot be reciprocated (for whatever reason), make an adjustment.  Be a mirror for those who refuse to respect your sensitivity.  Reflect that same energy and “love” back to them.  If they are threatened or offended by your truth, then they are not for you.”

My decision to write this post is my first act of self-love after having this discussion with my inner most self.  My inner child is asking to be seen and heard and for once in my life, I am giving her full permission to do so.  My throat chakra is open and I can no longer hold my tongue for fear of repercussions.  Now, I must heal my inner child by speaking up on my truths and my experiences, regardless of who they may offend.  This has been a pattern, and right now I claim that this pattern no longer exists.

To any reader who has made it this far, firstly, thank you.  I hope you are inspired and encouraged by these words. Secondly, if this post really resonates with you, then Spirit is saying the same thing to you!  My concluding questions for you today are, “Are you conscious of THE LOVE U GIVE to yourself?” “Are you living in total harmony?” If not, I would like to touch and agree with you to begin to be conscious of THE LOVE U GIVE yourself starting today.  Unconditional love for self is the ONLY love.  YOU MASTER THIS, YOU MASTER TOTAL HARMONY! YOU MASTER LOVE!

If someone is not loving you unconditionally, then you have every right to set healthy boundaries.  Ask God for guidance and strength as you make your adjustments.

When you operate from this heart space, you are emitting God’s Love! This is our life’s purpose and our soul’s mission.  I am here to radiate that love and light the path for those who have been running on autopilot!

Love is real, love is tangible! Allow yourself to take off! Allow yourself to feel the wind beneath your wings! And I promise you, you will land safely in a place where only God’s love truly exists.

In a place where love just is…a place called Corinth, where THE LOVE U GIVE will not return void!

K.M. McKenzie

2 Replies to “THE LOVE U GIVE”

  • ❤❤ #this! It is not only a beautiful thing when you learn to Give that LOVE to yourself specifically by choosing to honor how you feel and speak your truth in love. It is so liberating and once that journey begins you will never nor will you desire to ever go back. Cheers to this season of honoring and expressing even the most vulnerable parts in you, even if it’s uncomfortable. Lean in, LOVE’s got you.

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